What to do outside of the bedroom to improve your sex life.

Learning about sex can be a bit taboo. I mean we get taught about what the parts do but never how to actually use them. We never even get taught how to improve sexual health in and outside of the bedroom. Especially men. So with that said, here is some things you can do outside of the bedroom to improve your sex life.

Yes, the dreaded solution. Exercise. You hear and read it all the time. You should exercise. This is one of the simplest things you can do to improve your sex life and sexual health as well as overall health. Now I don’t mean you need to start smashing out 10k runs to improve your sex life. Neither do I mean you need to start benching 100lbs. Any sort of exercise will improve your sexual health and well-being. Thus having a positive impact on your sexual performance. All aerobic exercise improves blood flow and circulation. There is also specific exercises you can do to improve sexual organ health and functionality, called Kegels. Healthy blood flow is key for arousal in men as it aids erections. Better blood flow = better and stronger erections. Simple. It is also improves endurance in and outside of the bedroom. There is also this mental added effect that you get from exercising. Even tho you might feel a bit crap at the time, especially if it’s hard, afterwards you just feel better. Now there’s lots of science to back this up that a quick google could prove but I’m just going to tell you in layman’s terms. You just feel better.

Everything in the body is effected by what you eat. Everything. Eating “healthy” can improve sexual health and performance as well as just general health and well-being. We all know what eating “healthy” is, so I’m not going to go too in depth. The biggest things to avoid are sugar, saturated fats, oils (vegetable oil) and processed food. Try to eat anti oxidant fruits , such as berries.

This is a big one that I do not think is talked about enough. You might not have heard this before. Avoiding instant gratification activities can drastically, and I mean drastically, improve your sex life. The biggest of these being pornography and video games. Others include TikTok, Netflix junk food and scrolling social media. Pornography deserves its own section so let’s just talk about how these activities effect the brain. When you take part in these activities your brain releases dopamine and it feels good and you get a happy feeling. The more you do this the more you need and the harder it is for you to get this “happy feeling”. The less you take part in these instant gratification activities, the easier it for you to do hard things and feel more rewarded. This has a effect on attraction and motivation to have sex. There is a simple thing you can do called a dopamine detox that helps reset the brain. I will write about this on a separate post.

You need to stop watching porn. Now. It is hard to do this especially if you’re used to consuming it several times a week. This will have an amazing effect on your sexual health and performance. I promise. First of all Porn creates unrealistic sexual expectations. Pornography isn’t what real sex is like and unfortunately not many people know or understand this. Especially young people. The scenes are extremely exaggerated for your viewing pleasure. The people are unrealistic representations of normal people, put into extremely uncomfortable positions, often faking their level of pleasure and intimacy. It’s just not real. You need to understand this.

Second of all, it ruins your brain. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between watching porn and masturbating and actually having sex. The same dopamine is fired up in the brain. This is extremely bad because there’s literally no work involved or intimacy for all the pleasure. It’s “sex” at the snap at your fingers.

Please stop watching porn. I guarantee your sex life will drastically improve and you will be more motivated into actually seeking a partner or actually having sex with your partner. This will be hard, I’m not going to lie to you, but extremely beneficial.

I know for some people this is the go to way to meet someone. So it might seem counter intuitive, but it’s not. Abstaining or reducing alcohol intake will improve your sexual health and performance. It helps stabilise hormones allowing sex, and life in general, to be more enjoyable. Excessive drinking can also cause erectile dysfunction and vaginal dryness.

Taking care of yourself mentally and physically will definitely improve sexual health and performance in the form of confidence.

I mentioned exercise earlier so we won’t go into that but you can take care of yourself in other ways. I know it seems basic for some, but please have a shower. Ensure you wash yourself properly and regularly. Face and body. Take care in the way you dress. It doesn’t have to be a certain way. It can be your style. But make sure you feel good in what you wear. Ensure you shave any unwanted body hair as well. Don’t let others dictate what you shave, but know this can effect the amount of attraction people feel towards you.

Now this one isn’t as black and white as physically. There’s not certain criteria that everyone can meet to help them feel better. What I will say is take your time to learn what helps you to relax and feel better mentally. Wether that’s walking the dog, reading, having a relaxing bath or socialising with friends. If you don’t take care of yourself mentally it will effect your performance and presence in the bedroom.

“How in the hell is meditation going to help me in the bedroom”. Well meditation is amazing and I wish that everyone did it. It helps boost mood, focus and overall presence. This greatly effects the bedroom because when your present in the moment, you just have better sex. Your focus on your partner and your feelings more. You’re not thinking about the stress of tomorrow. You’re thinking about the here and now. Meditation is also amazing for all areas of life but this list isn’t about that. So I will write another post about how to meditate if you want to learn.

I’ve given you some stuff you can do to improve your time in the bedroom. So…go do it. Doing just one of these things will help but doing all of these things together will drastically improve your time in the bedroom.

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